Brad is the Pitts

"No Thanks"

I'm sorry, but I've never been attracted to Brad Pitt so everybody needs to calm down. I find that there's nothing really unique about his blonde hair, blue eyes, chiseled face appearance. Frankly, I'm tired of people saying "he's so hot" or when People Magazine rank him in the Top 10 Hottest Men. How is it ok for him to be allowed to have frosted tips for 10 years and it be considered taboo for the average man? How quickly we forget when he sported the "rugged" mullet with hemp necklaces back in the early 2000s. And what about "Meet Joe Black" when he could've really used a tan, a better script, and looked like a woman. Secondly, besides FightClub, which apparently everybody MUST love or else, what really has he been in? Personally, I fell asleep watching FightClub and never understood the plot, nor could I understand why men would want to meet in a basement and beat the shit out of each other without a mouth guard or a helmet. Thirdly, I'm also tired of "Brangelina" and their 43587 adopted children. It's getting annoying.

Can somebody please explain why girls are obsessed with guys with blonde hair and blue eyes? To me, its very boring and unappealing. But for some reason, no matter what, girls will go apeshit for this genetic combo. I'll take Rivers Cuomo and Adam Duritz over that shit any day.

Brad Pitt, Celebrity Extraordinaire

Like many of you, I was not surprised to see that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are gracing the cover of the latest issue of InTouch Weekly. It got me thinking, though--how and why is Brad Pitt still a celebrity?

Answer: he's got a fascinating, messed-up life. (Don't they all?) Here's what he's got going for him:
1. He's with Angelina Jolie
-They're not married
-She's a celebrity, too, with her own effed up story that includes Billy Bob Thornton and making out with brothers
-They have 3,744 kids
2. He's pretty hot
3. He was with Jennifer Anniston
4. I've heard he's in movies
5. He recently claimed that acting was his career, but architecture was his passion, which is hilarious

So, in conclusion, Brad Pitt has it made in the shade. He doesn't have to do anything and people will buy a magazine with his face on it. He lets himself go, and paparazzi swarm. He buys baby clothes, and the world goes nuts. Brilliant!