Oh, Ashlee Simpson. You can't really help that you're the lamest person alive, can you? You come from a family of uberlame, spotlight-hogging Simpsons. And yet, the fact remains: no one is lamer than you.
I think we all got our first taste of Ashlee-brand lameade when she had that short-lived reality show on MTV. I have no idea what that show was about, but that's when we knew for sure that our little Ashlee had a taste for skinny dudes with too much product in their hair. I think that's also when she got that nose job, so she could "sing" better. Whatever, the tabloids went wild and that's all that matters.
She's put out a couple of albums, none of which really went anywhere. Her lyrics are complete crap and the music is just contrived generic pop a la Paris Hilton or Brooke Hogan. But due to those albums, she had the rare opportunity to fuck up NOT JUST a performance on SNL, but the SUPERBOWL HALFTIME SHOW. Wow. Not many people can say that.
Then, she made the awesome decision to marry "rocker" Pete Wentz and get knocked up before she hit 24. Brilliant idea--that'll definitely last forever. She now spends most of her time wearing ridiculous clothes and dying her hair different colors, both pursuits I support. Hey, at least she's not making more music.
1 comment:
24 is the new 34. At least she isn't preggers before she's legal like all the many teen queens now that are all tin roof rusted!
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