Adnan Ghalib Is the Lamest. Person. Alive. (End of Story.)

Hello, blogosphere. How you durrin? (that’s right, I managed to make a Shirley Q reference two words in to my very first blog post, ever.)

So, in an attempt to read your mind, you are totally befuddled. I know that you are all, "What? This is Jasmine and Aliza's blog - who is this new Katie person?" Well, I'll have you know that when I was debating with Jasmine at the bar over who is the lamest person ever, "this Katie person" had the best argument, ever, for who the lamest person alive is, (celebrity wise, I know a few douchey lay-people who would rank as well.) and so I had to post. HAD TO. As in, I might explode if I had to keep this inside for any longer. So Jasmine did some interweb magics and made me an admin. I have opinions. Get ready.

With no further ado…

ADNAN GHALIB is the lamest person ever to exist on the face of the planet.

In a second attempt to read your mind, you might be saying "Who? Who is this Adnan person? And what is this name? Is it Aiden, or Adam, or what is the deal here?" and therein, my dear reader, you make my first point for me. + 1 on the lame scale. WHO IS ADNAN? And what is up with his crazy name? That’s exactly my point - we don't even know who he is. We know who Ashlee is. We even know who Marc is. But Adnan? Who is this dude?

He's Britney Spears' on-again-off-again paparazzi boyfriend.

"OH YEAHHHH you say... I heard about him." Mmhm, yes you did. You read/heard about his lame little attempt to weasel his weasly way into Brit-Brit's life when he was the paparazzi who fell into her sordid life during late 2007. I'll be lazy and let TV Crunch describe:

"Adnan Ghalib, 35, works for the agency FinalPixx, but seemed to find a place in Britney Spears’ heart – and bed? Well, Adnan Ghalib and Britney Spears have been seen checking into hotels anyway: Britney Spears invited Adnan Ghalib to her Beverly Hills hotel room on December 22nd. Six days later, Adnan Ghalib was seen in Britney Spears’s car, driving the pop princess to a West Hollywood home. Adnan Ghalib was seen going into a Palm Springs hotel with Britney Spears on January 2nd at 2 AM. The pair checked out at 7 AM. Adnan Ghalib was not with Britney Spears when she had her meltdown — and he didn’t visit her during her hospital stay either. Adnan Ghalib and Britney Spears were seen the day after her release, having breakfast together.”

Now, after that, Papa Brit-Brit forbade Adnan from having any contact whatsoever with Brit during MAJOR LIFE MELTDOWN 2007/8 when she had to go to the hospital. Like, twenty times. Who gets banned by Papa Spears? Not that lame-o who preggers Jamie Lynn. Not K-Fed. You have to be extra whack for Papa Spears to hate up on you. Lame points = 2. Oh man, glorious.

So okay – now you remember who he is, right? So what else makes him lame? Well, let’s start with being a paparazzi. That’s lame. You chase people around all day and have to lug a long lens. It means you didn’t even bother to attempt to get your GED. It means you like to skulk and sit in cars. We’re already ranking him a 3 on the lame scale.

Let’s move on to wanting to date Britney Spears. This is lame-o no matter how you look at it. It could be perceived as either a way to move into the media sight-line (which, you could definitely argue as the reason he wanted to date Brit, seeing as he did lots of interviews on ET during said drug-induced meltdown, and even went on Kathy Griffin when asked, which is only a +.00001 redeeming point.) (Sigh, I love Kathy.) (I also love parenthesis.) Lame total: 4.9999

Or, GASP, he could, GASP, ACTUALLY WANT TO DATE HER. Now that is supa-lame. Have you seen the woman? Does she have any actual real hair on her head? She’s also gained and lost weight at the speed of Star Jones. Or Anna Nicole Smith on Trimspa, baby. But seriously? BRITNEY SPEARS? YOU WANT TO DATE HER? You actually want to associate yourself with two poor kids and K-Fed? K-Fed? There is actually someone alive who wants K-Fed’s leftovers? So lame. We’ve hit 5.9999

And then there is his outward appearance. (See right.) Marc Anthony may be fugly and Ashlee darling may have a new nose… but at least they don’t grow a landing strip down their chin. That’s right, a landing strip. Planes from miles away are seeing that, and thinking it’s a runway. Pilots right now are rerouting their American Airlines flights to land on Adnan’s face. Gah - 6.9999

And finally, for my grand finale, (and because this post is getting long, because Adnan is so lame) I give you this: Adnan tried to sell a sex tape of him and Brit. +7.9999. There is an actual headline stating that Adnan got attacked by a knife-weilding maniac : +8.9999 (cause really, who gets attacked these days? Loser.) As on Sept. 2nd, 2008, He and Brit-Brit ARE BACK TOGETHER. +9.9999

That, folks, is the lamest person ever.

Signing off, with love.