Boy Dictionary

All right, it's time for another boy-centric installment of Almost Friends. This time, Aliza and I are tackling a boy dictionary. In our many years of experience in dealing with the male of the species, we've encountered quite a few phrases (and outright lies) that really mean something other than what they're saying. A lot of guys will try to convince you that they are simple, always say what they mean, etc, etc. This is simply not true, as they manage to leave us completely befuddled on a regular basis. Without further ado, here's my list of common boy phrases and their translations.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

We should totally hang out: Either means we will never hang out or can be delivered as a crushing "you're just a friend" blow at the end of a bar conversation or date. Beware of the phrase "hang out."

I love Grey's Anatomy/Project Runway: I will tolerate that chick show to get in your pants.

I've never put myself out there like this: I want to get in your pants.

I like to take it slow: I want to get in your pants.

Nice shirt: I want to get in your pants. (You get the idea.)

BOYFRIEND PHRASES

She's just a friend: Usually a lie, but not always. Just usually.

I need some time to think about it: I know what my answer is, but you don't want to hear it so I am going to put it off for as long as possible. Synonym: I don't want to talk about it.

I don't know, Jasmine, I don't know: Shut up, you're talking about this too much and I don't want to anymore.

We're going to talk: I'm going to watch basketball.

I want a night in: I'm going out with the guys.

**Thanks to all my fabulous friends who shared input and brainstorming for the dictionary! If you have alternative translations or other boy phrases, please leave them in the comments. xoxo