Women seeking Men

"Me"

If I'm not bald, I don't expect my boyfriend to be bald either. If I have all my teeth, I expect my boyfriend to have all his teeth. Etc.

My toleration levels for certain unacceptable behavior in the opposite sex is approximately 0%. The profile Jasmine has described below is that of a troll. I think the key here is that one must realize that one is not a troll and that one shouldn't expect her date to be a troll either. I think all women, at some point, need to self-evaluate themselves ("allow myself to introduce...myself") and figure out what she brings to the table and what qualities in her are highly sought after and then raise their standards in the opposite sex accordingly. In the past, I've selected potential mates based on the fact that they liked ME, but nowadays, perhaps due to being chronically disappointed by all these losers, I've realized that I should be into THEM and shouldn't have to impress anybody. First of all, it goes without saying, that all men are disgusting and hideous and the fact that we pay them any attention is really a miracle from Yaweh. In order to find the least repulsive man out there, one MUST have some standards besides if he has all his teeth. If a guy is missing his teeth, that's big problem and its unacceptable.

I've drafted a brief list of what I'm looking for:

1. Brown Eyes/Hair Combo Platter

2. Glasses

3. 5"7-5"8 ft tall

4. Listens to NPR

5. Can appreciate my love for Christian iconography

6. Compliments my xxxtreme beauty on a daily basis

7. Likes documentaries

8. Able to calculate tip

9. No sports jerseys allowed

10. No video games allowed

11. Must Love Dogs

12. Must brag about me to his friends

13. Must be able to fix computer and all electronics

14. Tolerates my cooking

15. No man-jewelry of any kind (this includes earrings, chains, and hemp necklaces)

16. No barb wire and/or tribal tattoos of any kind

17. I make the jokes and he makes inferior jokes

18. Smells good at all times

19. Sends flowers to my office

20. Likes spicy foods

21. Likes to play Clue

22. No muscle tone whatsoever

If you fit the criteria in this profile, call me.