Mariah Carey may be the cheesiest person alive. I've been seeing posters for her new album E=MC2 all over the city. The album is ridiculous on 2 levels: 1) the title refers to her initials (=brilliant) 2) the title suggests that the album should be considered on the same level of genius that is Einstein's Theory of Relativity. All that aside, it's always the same shit. Like all her albums before, each and every song much showcase her acclaimed canary-like vocal range and her ability to fluctuate between octaves. Her songs must always include lyrics about or metaphors to butterflies, hearts, flowers, waterfalls, and honey. All her videos must include a fan blowing on her face, daisy-dukes, bubble baths, silk pajamas, and low-cut halter tops for her breast implants. In classic Mariah fashion, she named her fragrance "M" (so there's no confusion) and it's obviously packaged in the shape of a butterfly. We've all seen her episode of CRIBS and we all now know that she has a "Moroccan Room" in her NYC penthouse apartment. This is confusing because she is not from Morocco. She also changes outfits 10 times during the entire episode. Cheese factor: 10. These are the facts and they are undisputed.
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