Hi. I'd like to introduce you to Celine Dion, undoubtedly the cheesiest person alive. Not only did this woman get her start by singing for a soundtrack for a cheesy movie, but that "heart will go on" crap has never left her. At least Mariah Carey acknowledges sex in her lyrics (case in point: Touch My Body. Can't get more explicit than that). Celine Dion has probably never had sex in her life. It's always been true love, a joining of two souls that inevitably produced her precious little kid. Celine's version of love and the world is so cheesy, so whitewashed, it makes me throw up a little in my mouth.
She's French Canadian. There's really not much more to say on this point. I'm amazed anyone can take her seriously.
She had an act in VEGAS! Come on. Doesn't that come with a crown of cheese? You're not allowed to sing your music or perform your act in Las Vegas until you've reached a certain level of cheesiness (and commercial viability).
And finally: she has an accent in her name. Like a squirt of Cheez Whiz on top. I rest my case.
She's French Canadian. There's really not much more to say on this point. I'm amazed anyone can take her seriously.
She had an act in VEGAS! Come on. Doesn't that come with a crown of cheese? You're not allowed to sing your music or perform your act in Las Vegas until you've reached a certain level of cheesiness (and commercial viability).
And finally: she has an accent in her name. Like a squirt of Cheez Whiz on top. I rest my case.
2 comments:
you totally forgot that she has had not one, but two weddings to her eightybajillion year old husband/manager. and in the second one she wore something resembling a bird on her head. case and point.
one more thing.... why is my name on here katherine. google is stalking me, and must have talked to the only person on the face of the planet who actually calls me katherine: my grandma.
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